Route 50: What it Means to Mindfully Turn 50

In this episode, Victoria Payne chats with her long-time friend Angie Parker Yoakum, a life coach and first-time author, who's hitting the big 5-0. They dive into how milestone birthdays are perfect times for a bit of self-reflection and personal growth. Angie opens up about her own journey of figuring herself out and how crucial it is to really know yourself to craft the life and relationships you're after. She gives us a sneak peek into her book, "Before You Say I Do: Questions Every Person Should Ask," which is all about asking the tough questions about past experiences, values, and future dreams, both for you and your partner. Angie's big on knowing your worth and not settling for less in relationships. She also opens up about how her family background shaped her views on love and relationships. All in all, it's a heart-to-heart on why knowing yourself inside out is key to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

A big thanks to Angie Parker Yoakum! Look for her book : Before You Say I Do: Questions Every Person Should Ask...out soon on Amazon. 

And thank you to Seth Parson for his music. This episode features his track "The Sun is Out." 

Show transcript below: 

Speaker 1 (00:01):

Big birthdays, we approach them with some trepidation, dread, maybe excitement. But what if you could use the runway to 50 or 60 or 70 or 40 as a way to know yourself better? Because we can't have the life or relationships we want if we haven't done the work to know ourselves and become the person of our dreams. Yep, I said it. You are who you've been waiting for.

(00:36):

We've all got them. People who change our lives, people we can grow with, and if we're lucky people we can grow old with. And speaking of getting old or what my 78-year-old father likes to call getting older, I am so glad you tuned into today's conversation because I'm going to introduce you to one of the wisest and most interesting women you are bound to meet. And she just so happens to be one of my oldest friends. And I promise you, if you ever find yourself in the same room with Angie Parker Yoakum, you're going to have a meaningful conversation. You'll leave their thinking about your answers and likely inspired to dig a little deeper. If you're new to the Naked Librarian, welcome. I'm Victoria Payne, a writer, storyteller, recovering English professor and total health nerd, and also your host. I created The Naked Librarian because I wanted more honest conversation about women's health and happiness.

(01:34):

It's my hope that the show gives you practical tips and food for thought because in my ever expanding Girlfriend Circle, I know one thing for sure. We are all in it together. So let me tell you more about Angie Parker Yoakum. She is a life coach, first time author, mom to a beautiful teenage daughter and an all-star human being that you're going to fall in love with. In this episode that I've entitled Route 50, we dive into the mindful journey of turning 50 in a modern age. Because let's face it, ladies, it's both a personal milestone and potentially a meltdown. Your body, brain, hormones, life, job, relationships, everything has aged. And it could be hard to take the good with the bad, but what if you could use your road to 50 or 60 or 70 or 40, maybe 30 as a way to know yourself better?

(02:28):

Because as do hear in our conversation, we can't have the life or relationships we want if we haven't done the work to know ourselves and become the person of our dreams. Yep, I said it. You are who you've been waiting for, and that's exactly what Angie and I talk about today. We dive into regret what we learned or didn't learn from our parents, parenting loss and what we would tell our 25-year-old self who has yet to embark on the journey and learn the wisdom that we now have for better or worse in our gosh dang back pocket. And we want to give it to you. Now, Angie's book is coming out soon, so this conversation is a bit of a preview and also listening in to two old friends talk about life and all they've learned along the way. And bonus, whenever you listen to this episode, I just want you to know that it airs on Angie's 50th birthday. How cool is that? So you are here celebrating it with us. So come with me and Angie as we put all this stuff together. We made this episode for you, Angie, do you remember how we met?

Speaker 2 (03:39):

So we were at UPS, we worked at UPS together, and Victoria was this young southern belle little tender. What were you like 19? Such a little peach. And we were really lucky in the whole hub of Swan Island, UPS to work in this little corner called the hazardous responder section, which they had one just on each, it was just two in the whole hub, if you know what I'm talking about. In UPS, just the warehouse. But there were two ends to where it was literally what, six of us and Victoria and I were two of the six. And we just bonded. We became friends and she learned about my little quirks of, what was it you made quiche? I'm just really, really picky. So I think she maybe asked to drink some of my water. And I was like, no,

Speaker 1 (04:43):

You're actually not picky. What you are is very selective around anything around germs. And so you love food and all kinds of food and all types of food that it could be, but in addition to not knowing me well and wanting me to take a sip out of your water, you also were not interested in the egg rolls one of our colleagues had made at home. And I remember taking a bite and you going almost knocking it out of my hand and saying, you don't know what his kitchen is. You haven't been there, you haven't seen it. You need to think hard. You were asking questions back then. You were like, you need to think hard before you put this into your mouth. But it was an endearing quality. I could tell you cared about me. I mean, not at first when you were like, no, you can't have my water. And I was like, but I'm super thirsty. And you're like, no, not

Speaker 2 (05:50):

Even a waterfall. I didn't offer a waterfall. Is that what

Speaker 1 (05:54):

Happened eventually? No, we didn't really do that back then. You were like, I don't share, sorry, I don't share my drinks. And then later on, you had other redeeming qualities. We used to listen to music and dance around and we had walkie talkies and we had all of our inside jokes. And I think one of your big claims to fame should be that if Angie and I hadn't met, I don't think I would have any of my three sons because Angie introduced me to their father and that relationship didn't work out. But I'm very grateful for it because that's how I became a mom. That is each of those human beings.

Speaker 2 (06:47):

Wait, wait, wait. However, the water, I told her no to him

Speaker 1 (06:56):

Sort of. I mean, actually I think you did introduce us, but yeah, you were kind of like, no, but the two of you had your own kind of funny friendship as well.

Speaker 2 (07:10):

Yeah, I saw 'em to this day. A thousand percent. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:15):

It's so pertinent for the questions that you have people ask on this journey to 50 about themselves and about their lives. I definitely was not asking any question when I was 19, other than am I attracted to this person?

Speaker 2 (07:32):

Exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:33):

That was the question. Do they seem safe enough to go out on a date with Do I think I will have a good time?

Speaker 2 (07:44):

Exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:45):

Is he a good kisser? These were the, you

Speaker 2 (07:50):

See, I know. No, seriously, exactly. Does he deserve my time? You know what I mean? It is. The other questions, the reverse questions to where I mean, but could, should have would've, and like you said, you wouldn't have your three babies. It is just a beautiful thing. It really is. And it's been for almost 30 years.

Speaker 1 (08:18):

Yeah, almost 30 years. Because you like to make fun of me being a 19-year-old baby. But you were a 20-year-old baby.

Speaker 2 (08:26):

I I did not realize we were like a year behind each other. I just felt like you were just young, just sweet little peach

Speaker 1 (08:35):

And your family was so welcoming to me and I really got, I think our friendship really fast tracked once I got to know your family, and I love both of your parents, but your dad was so awesome and I've got so many great stories about that. So I'm really excited for other people to get to know you because I've gotten to get to know this really cool, amazing person for almost 30 years. I know you've got a lot of wisdom, and that's what we're going to talk about today.

(09:18):

Hey, it's Victoria here, and I've got a message for all the business owners out there. Does your business or organization have an important mission? Then you need to know about mission flow? Mission Flow is an all in one sales and marketing platform for purpose-driven businesses. The mission flow platform is specifically designed to empower thought leaders, social entrepreneurs, local and family owned businesses and nonprofits to do more good with comprehensive marketing tools from web building to scheduling to email and SMS automation. And the best part, mission flow. Clients get more than tools. They get access to an award-winning marketing strategist, professional copywriter, and amazing customer support team. If you're looking for a better way to market your mission and grow your business, visit get mission flow.com. I know you and me, we could talk on and on about our lives and about the things that we think are important about what we had for dinner, how much we love our kids. We could just really talk on and on. But today what we're going to talk about is a really cool project that you've been doing where you've been inviting people into turning 50, which I know your birthday's going to be here soon. Soon. We're just weeks away. This podcast is probably going to come out right around your birthday. That's my goal.

Speaker 2 (10:52):

Yay.

Speaker 1 (10:55):

Yeah. So I want to hear a little bit about this project and how you decided that you wanted to bring people with you around this experience of what I'm calling mindfully turning 50.

Speaker 2 (11:12):

Yes. Well, for me, mindfully turning 50 is not feeling any negativity or regrets about such an age. 50 is 50. I mean, you have more of your life that is over and ahead versus there's not a lot more to go unless God gives you 30, 40, 50 more years. But the way that I see it is, and especially where I am now, it's just very exciting. It's a place where I have experienced and my journey through life has been something to where a lot of people haven't experienced. Even if it's travel, whatever it is, I know I have a lot to offer and it's like, come on, join with me, join with me on this happy journey. To me, it's just 50. I feel like I'm 34, you know what I mean? My health, everything is here, which is great, but I feel young, I feel good. I'm in a different space, and I just really want people to come along and understand that 50 doesn't have to be dreadful. Or any age where people feel some type of way or feel a lot of regret or so much time has passed or they don't have time, more years in front of them, I don't feel that way. I'm really, really excited and I just want people to come along.

Speaker 1 (12:59):

I'm excited for you as your friend who's known you so long, I wanted to talk a little bit about this idea of turning 50 and not being filled with regret. Because you mentioned that if you make it to 50, you've lived already more than half of your life for most of us. And if you're lucky, you're going to get a couple more decades, maybe you'll be one of the people that turns 100, we don't know. But how do you not have regrets? Is there some kind of personal work or journey that somebody needs to go on to feel that way? Or is it just like, yeah, don't worry about all that. Forget all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (13:57):

For me, I was blessed to, early on in my early twenties, I started to do the hair of celebrities and just I guess celebrities, NBA players and different upper echelon, financially wise people. And then I also had a chance to travel the world. And then once I got married, then I had my child, I able, I felt like it was stages. So I mean, I experienced a lot. I had a very fruitful life. So once different things started to happen or once challenges started to come or appear in my life, I just looked at that as a challenge. Like, oh, this I am now. I just always looked at it as stages. So as I have gotten older with those stages, I have also learned to do introspective work because as you get into relationships and things start to surface, it's like, well, wait a minute.

(15:15):

If I'm so great or if I had this great life, then what is this? What is really happening? And so once you start to do introspective work and looking in and start to look at your family of origin and connecting the dots and figuring out, okay, oh, I needed this or this is who I am, this is what I want, this is what I need. All of those things, when you start to look at that and just really connect it to yourself, then you kind of figure out like, okay, no. Well, you can't know or make up what you didn't know. So for me, there's no regrets with that. I am where I am now for a reason, and that's just pretty much it. So for me, there's no regrets.

Speaker 1 (16:09):

I think that's a really important distinction that you can have had experiences where you felt like, boy, I really wish I would've known that sooner, or I wish that I could have understood this, but it was really outside of my control. I had the information I had, I did the best I could do. So I'm not going to feel regret. I'm going to try to take that wisdom, maybe apply it to myself, teach it to others, but regret kind of implies that we're stewing on it. I feel like there are a few things in life worth having regrets for mistakes that we've made where maybe we did know a little better, but we did it anyway out of some other reason or cause. But I think the way that we're talking about regrets today is something I can get on board with this idea that we come into this world, into our families, we learn what they teach us and what they show us, and that's our headstart on life. And then we grow and we acquire from there. And it takes truly a lifetime to understand some of these things. So you've been doing this toward a 50 asking questions. You wrote a book and your book is called Before You Say, I do Questions Every Person Should Ask, and I thought it would be fun if I asked you a few of these questions.

Speaker 2 (18:02):

Oh, mg, who knew

Speaker 1 (18:06):

If you're tuning in and you're listening, the book's organized in different sections like historical questions, family questions, et cetera. So I thought it would be good for the audience to learn a little bit about you. When I ask you one of these questions. I know it was a big inspiration for your book. One of the questions is, did I know my mother or father? What was the relationship dynamic between my parents? Were they married, divorced in another situation? And how did my family's story shape or influence my views on love and relationships?

Speaker 2 (18:49):

Oh, please.

Speaker 1 (18:50):

And before you answer, what I'd really like is for us to show the listeners how these questions work by you sort of being a case study.

Speaker 2 (19:05):

For sure. For sure. The questions like myself, they're layered just how she pretty much is one question, but it was like four questions in one. And I do a disclaimer. I don't want you guys to be overwhelmed, but honestly, that is just how I think, and the book is the way that I speak and the way that I think. So with my parents, I don't remember exactly how it's acts, I need to go get my book, but I think with my parents, they both came from backgrounds that they decided to make a 180, just a real change in their lives. My dad came from Nebraska and it just wasn't an ideal situation. It wasn't bad, but he had a single mother and he was more responsible for his family, and he got into the service and then he came to the northwest, Portland, Oregon and started his life and he met my mother, who was his Sunday school student.

(20:17):

I don't know if you knew that, Victoria, but they migrated my grandmother and grandfather from Arkansas to find better opportunities. And that is where my parents met. But both of them, I don't know if my mother was really trying to make a change or a difference. She was 18 when she got married to my father, she started having children immediately. And when she had me, she was about 34 and I'm the eighth child. But what happened was they just created this family, a very Christian bible-based organized religion and home love, full of love family. That one thing that stood out to me out of all the things, now don't get me wrong, I came from love. My father was present, my mother was present, and they could just do what only they can do if you're a parent. You know what I'm saying? However, one thing that stood out to me and my personality is pretty fiery and they didn't argue. Yeah, no disagreements, none. So for me, when I got a little older and had boyfriends and different things, one thing as I started to do the introspective work, I learned that I kind of didn't know how to resolve conflict lovingly and respectfully for me in certain situations, although it was demonstrated, a lot of things were demonstrated, but for my personality, things weren't really spoken or a lot of instructions weren't given. So my parents did the best that they could.

Speaker 1 (22:12):

Were your parents aware that you had opinions and things to say that they might not agree with? Or was it more like you didn't see anybody arguing, so you just kept your thoughts to yourself?

Speaker 2 (22:29):

I didn't see anyone arguing, and I don't think the arguments or conflict resolution came up until I got into relationships. And then by that time, I'm either fighting literally fist fighting with boyfriends, I mean, crazy stuff. Yeah, exactly. Or it just wasn't a thing. So I am positive that they knew I was a fiery little soul, but did it come up with them or I think it was more important to me with relationships, relationship wise, because all of us are relational, and once you bring whatever or don't know or whatever, you didn't get it ironed out through your childhood or whatever. It comes into your adult relationships. So we had conversations, but I don't think I really started to have conversations or the real conversations didn't happen until my dad was starting to pass in like 20 17, 20 18. And that's when I started to be like, wait a minute, why don't we, I just started to ask questions.

(23:43):

And then my mom, because I'm the youngest and most of my siblings didn't ever really question her, just what they said when, and they were great examples. They walked the walk and talk the talk. But as I got older and I just started to question things, I needed answers. So once I became of age and my dad started to pass, that's when I started to ask about our family of origin and why certain standards or why just a lot of different things that I realized just weren't on the table as conversations. So as I got older, I just learned more that my parents, like my mom, she didn't know. And my dad, he did his best coming from where he came from. But for me, it just became like this deep, deep, deep work to where even though they didn't have the answers or we were raised to be this way, I saw how there was soft dysfunction. I would buy our dysfunction, I would buy my way into our family. But at the same time, there are things that where you see patterns and different habits that kind of form in your bloodline where it's like that does not or has not been working for me personally. And I don't even know if I answered your question. I don't even remember all the questions.

Speaker 1 (25:12):

Well, I think that's the beauty of asking the questions is that it's not so much that you answer each aspect of the question, it's that you go inside and you see what you know and you're making this knowledge. And I think it's so interesting that we're talking about turning 50 and we're also talking about how your parents met when they were very young. They started having children when they were very young. I think about what I know today as an almost 50-year-old woman compared to what I knew at almost 21 when I became a parent. And I, it's vastly different. And all of the life experiences that I had between 21 and 50 are part of why I have so many more lessons and wisdom and insight. And I think you talked about growing up in a stable, loving Christian home and the way that that provided you this awesome springboard, and this is what I feel like I want listeners to pay attention to because maybe you two grew up in a really ideal family, a family that what Angie said, you would buy their dysfunction because it's so minimal.

(26:38):

You would take it over maybe some other experiences. But even inside of our very best, our parents doing their very best and being very loving, they can only pass on the knowledge and information that they have at that time. And we're not always limited by just what our parents taught us. I mean, I think of myself that way. I was a dramatically different parent than the parents that I had, and I had done a lot of thinking about the kind of parent I wanted to be, and I made some really different decisions, but in the cracks, like the cracks that I didn't know to explore, I couldn't obviously make those improvements until I started noticing there were cracks. And I think it's interesting that you talked about too, your father passing and how that started to inspire this introspection. I feel like one of my life's biggest turning points is when my sister died and I was 35, and I think there's this thing that happens sometimes when your loved one passes away and the family unit changes and we start thinking, what is this family and how did we come to be?

(28:01):

And what is it about the way that we are that has shaped me? Do I like all of those things? I know from talking with you when you were working on the concept of this book, one of your ideas was, man, I really wish I could talk to people when they're younger and encourage them to ask these hard questions of themselves, of the person they're attracted to so that they had that wisdom earlier on. If you could go back and give your 25-year-old self some advice based on what you know now, what would you emphasize?

(28:51):

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Speaker 2 (29:59):

I would emphasize my worthiness, my value, and just being aware if we can really stand in front of a mirror, you and I both know we have pictures from when we're our early twenties and just like ripe little plums, and it's almost like we had no idea. And it's almost like if you can just look in the mirror and really see yourself as a valuable, worthy human being here for a purpose, and not everyone deserves a chance at you. In the book I say, some people don't deserve our name, let alone number, and then we go on to marry them or just whatever. And so I would definitely, my 25-year-old self, I would just look in the mirror, see yourself and know that you are worthy and your value. Everybody does not deserve a chance period. And a lot of people just see potential and don't see the value in themselves and waste a lot of time with people that just don't deserve to know you at all.

Speaker 1 (31:20):

Why do you think it's hard when we're younger to know our value? And honestly, I think it's hard no matter how old someone is, they, if they're in a relationship right now where they don't feel valued or they can't seem to find the love of their life and they end up in relationships where they feel like a doormat, what's going on? Why is so hard for us?

Speaker 2 (31:51):

I think it's hard. You send me a reel about the father talking to his daughter, and that is a little bit of what I go into in my book where my dad was present and even he told me I was beautiful and taught me a lot. I really had more than anything, a Mr. Mom, my brother next to me, and I did. But at the same time, there was no Angie, you are special. No one, just anyone. They don't deserve your space. They don't deserve your time. You deserve a man like this. When you get a man the way that I treat your mom, there was no real instructions. Everyone doesn't need that, but a lot of times, most of us do if you know it or not. And so what I didn't get there, I find that a lot of times we just give people a lot of chances that you just don't see your value if you don't see your value on worth no matter what in whatever age.

(33:07):

Because it took me a long time. I just started doing the introspective work at, I don't even remember how, I mean, my dad died in 2018, so do the math. I'll be 50. However, I just think a lot of us just don't get the instructions of how valuable we are. And so then if you and Victoria this as well, a lot of people don't do introspective work. A lot of people, these questions or the questions that they will create for their own situations will be the first time that they've even thought about or ask these questions of themselves or other people in their lives or consider to ask when they bring in the next person in their lives. So if you don't know who you are, what you want and what you need, you will find yourself in situations that just don't serve you, that really don't. Like I said, we were not born to be mistreated, but if you don't know your worth and your worthiness, then a lot of stuff has to happen until you start to ask the hard questions of yourself first.

Speaker 1 (34:24):

And I wanted to highlight that early on when you were thinking of writing this book and coming up with questions, one idea was, Hey, I want to tell everybody what the red flags are. And I remember that one of the red flags is what you just said, which somebody that hasn't asked themselves the questions, somebody that hasn't done the introspection, which is interesting, right? Because by that definition, you were a red flag for anybody else who had done the work. So minimally, if you haven't asked the questions, you're only going to attract someone that also hasn't done the work, and the two of you are going to be lost together. And people find each other at different phases of life and they maybe start to ask questions together and then up growing together. That is the thing that happens. And I think it happens a lot when people especially meet when they're younger or they have certain life events that cause that to happen. And maybe someone listening, maybe you'll get lucky and that'll be you, but I know one of your missions is to help people with the wisdom that you've gained and just said, hang on here.

(35:51):

Inherent in this idea of not really knowing our worth is not being trained to listen to ourselves, that inside of us there is wisdom, our brain, our bodies. We're noticing things that don't seem right, that we don't really like, we're not feeling valued in the relationship, but we're not tuning into that. We're almost like shutting the door on that. And I think building the awareness that you have an internal operating system that is a wise guide and just, I know for me it's been a big practice just to notice, just to notice like, oh, I'm having a yucky feeling around this person. It doesn't have to be your partner. It could just be somebody else in your life that doesn't deserve your name or number. And I thought this was going to be an interesting friendship or relationship, but I'm not. No thanks. And I think this is true, especially of women. We're really trained to be polite.

Speaker 2 (37:05):

Thank you.

Speaker 1 (37:06):

If you have any faith background, you're also treating to be of service to others. And so this wise person I'm talking about kind of gets shelved or you have a secret life where it's like, okay, I've got somebody inside. They are talking to me. They are telling me something about this doesn't seem right, but I'm supposed to be of service and I'm supposed to be selfless. I'm supposed to work for the greater good. It doesn't matter how you get this message, whether it's you's because you're a woman or because your mom didn't have a lot of value to demonstrate, or like me, you grew up in Georgia in the South where I was sort of trained to be polite or you grew up in the church, which I also did where I was, they doubled down. It was like, be polite in a servant and have a servant's heart and don't have a lot of needs. Don't be needy.

Speaker 2 (38:12):

It's horrible.

Speaker 1 (38:14):

I mean, it's just why I have conversations like this because I think a lot of people, a lot of women could look at their life and say, well, none of that applies to me. And yet I still struggle with people pleasing.

Speaker 2 (38:34):

Exactly.

Speaker 1 (38:36):

Meeting a partner that ends up not being right for me. And so I think that the questions are hard. The questions that you want people to ask are hard. They're multifaceted. And have you ever thought with how many questions in your book, how long you think it would take somebody if they did them all?

Speaker 2 (39:01):

I didn't really. I did not. Because just as well as you asked the question, just they'll go off on tangents or it's like you'll just get a chance to see into people if they answer the question just how you ask the question, great. But a lot of times that's not the case. But if you listen, you'll learn about a person or you'll hear their denial or awkwardness, uncomfortableness or just starting to divulge information. So it gives you a chance to get to know people, and it's really a chance for you to observe. And especially in the dating aspect or even your spouse or yourself, whatever it is, it's almost like this patient vetting chance just to see or understand a person. So just as well as the questions are multilayered and multifaceted, it's just a way to see the layers of people or see the way that someone will hide the layers that they're not ready to share or that they don't want to share.

(40:21):

So I didn't think of how long it would take. I just knew that it would give people a chance to see whomever it is, whatever question it is, the way that you answer, don't answer, or the way that you expound, just whatever it is, it gives you a chance to see the person. And that's what a lot of us haven't taken the time to do, is to see ourselves and to really look into ourselves, let alone another person that we are inviting or allowing into our lives. So if you don't know yourself, that's not good. But then we're always in a relationship to where, what are you expecting or what are you looking for from this other person? And you really don't even know yourself. So it's just a learning process and a vetting. I like the vetting word.

Speaker 1 (41:22):

I like the vetting too, and the way in which we can vet ourselves, we can land on a question that's uncomfortable for us and begin wonder what's that really about? And so I think what's cool is that the questions work both ways. You can ask them of yourself. You can be on a solo journey or you can be in a new relationship and want to get to know a partner. Or I think it would be really cool to be in a group where people are thinking, I want to know myself better and I want to know the people around me.

(42:03):

I think you and I are similar in the regard that we're verbal processors and we're willing to maybe talk and maybe not sound eloquent, but sort of figure it out while we're talking. Some people really struggle with that. And so I would just encourage people that if you use these questions to interact with others, do it with grace. Not everybody is comfortable just pouring their heart and their lives out, and that doesn't mean they have some kind of secret life or they don't want to get to know you. And I think it can be a beautiful way to build closeness in a relationship when you allow for different learning styles and different personalities. Maybe somebody wants to write their thoughts down and have read them. Maybe it's something you do around the dinner table with your kids. But I think allowing for those differences is important. So I think that approaching it all with a sense of grace and curiosity and versus like, gotcha.

Speaker 2 (43:22):

Exactly.

Speaker 1 (43:25):

I knew I couldn't trust you, and now you're acting shady around

Speaker 2 (43:29):

Your

Speaker 1 (43:29):

Answers. So now I really know. So I just have a couple more questions for you. What do you hope at turning 50? What do you hope your daughter has learned from you?

Speaker 2 (43:47):

Wow, resilience that you can be in a situation or you can, even if it's financial uncertainty, just not being sure about different things. Like with me, once I had her, just different things changed. If it's the career or just different paths that I wanted to take had to take and ended up going down. But yet still the questions and the enjoyment life, even if I was in a bind, it could have been financially or whatever, always made sure we went to close trips where we can drive in a car or there's still an enjoyment in life. There's still great people to be around. There are a lot of things that can happen for free. It is free to be kind and nice and just speak to people, speak to all types of people, and you don't have to be just, I guess you and I, what people don't know when a lot of things race can come up.

(45:15):

We've been friends for a very long time. We've had hard conversations and we've been through a lot, but we love each other very much. And for her to see that, I mean, she's been with you since she was a child, and so really it's about loving people, still finding joy in the midst of it all. And so for her to see me in all different stages, but then yet to kind of come to this empowerment stage, this embracing being 50 and not having regrets to where it causes bitterness or things that just really aren't worth holding onto because life is great even when it's not. We have opportunities just to make decisions that we can help somebody else. We can be in a hard place and we can just help somebody else. So I think she's seen that all of her life, and she sees me where I am to where I'm just becoming more and more empowered just writing a book.

(46:26):

I mean, that's a big deal. And just like you and she and other people have heard me talk about it, but to actually have accomplished that and accomplished different things, it's just I think she is proud. She says she's proud or she can just watch me and I feel I can be enough of an example for her to where, and I've given her enough information. You and I, we didn't know about boundaries and codependency and all of the things that you need to know early on. So outside of her watching me and learning things, I made sure that she knew all of those trauma bonds and everything that we learned a little bit later on in life, usually for most of us, unless you miss it. So I tried to instill a lot of things in her, but be ridiculous or disrespect her youth and childhood. But I also try to be an example and just allow her to know that mommy didn't know at all, and just to see me through the journey to where I have hopefully in my eyes progressed and become pretty cool at almost 50. So yeah, I don't know if I answered your question. I think I did. Yeah,

Speaker 1 (47:58):

You did. Great. If people want to follow along with your journey, if they want to find you, where do they go? How do we stay in touch with you?

Speaker 2 (48:10):

So at Angie Parker Yoakum without the dash on Instagram, and that's a fairly new page. I'm starting that for my life coaching and my journey to help people just empower themselves and just to be a better person. Also, Angie Parker Yoakum on Facebook, that's where you can find me. And then my original page, which is more about food am a licensed cosmetologist as well as a life coach, but I am a licensed cosmetologist. So my first and original page is at Foodie Mom, which stands for Food, beauty, and I'm a mom all one word, and that's my original page. So yeah, just follow, come along with me. I'm just really now getting back on social media. I never wanted to be on there without a purpose, but I definitely want you guys to come along my journey and just so we all can have fun and ask questions and get to know each other, and yeah,

Speaker 1 (49:19):

All of it,

Speaker 2 (49:21):

All that.

Speaker 1 (49:24):

I hope you've enjoyed today's production of The Naked News. Everything created here was for entertainment and educational purposes and shouldn't take the place of talking to a doctor or a mental health professional. If you don't have a therapist. I'm a huge fan of therapy and getting to know yourself. And when Angie's book comes out, you can take a look at these questions and journal and get to know yourself a little bit better. Also, if you want to stay in touch with the Naked Librarian, make sure you've gone to my website and added yourself to our newsletter list where I publish. Recess is also the place where you're going to find out every time there's a new episode of Naked Librarian. Make sure to like us on all your favorite platforms and come follow me over on Instagram. It's my mission to bring more health and happiness topics to grown ass women. Thank you for listening in. I made it for you.